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Anxiety Sucks! - Learn how I control my anxiety and stress in life!
A personal blog about my recovery from anxiety disorders including panic attacks, agoraphobia and depression. Learn how I controlled my anxiety and took control of my life! Learn ways to cope with stress and daily life to get a grip on anxiety.
Breaking down agoraphobia walls in the workforce
Well it sure has been a very trying few weeks. I was laid off at my seasonal job and was told they would hire me back when the season picks back up so right off the bat I found a job in a brick and mortar call center not too far from home. It turned out to be a HUGE scam but I learned a lot about myself. BTW NEVER ever ever sign up for a “FREE” Bahamas cruise online. That “FREE” cruise will cost you over $500. I really didn’t think that a job that you would work for in the outside world could be a scam. I know of a lot of online scams going on but was kind of naïve about employers being scammers. Anyways I had the “balls” to stand up and walk out for being treated unfairly and for not wanting to be a part of a scam.
On to next job I was hired for. The job setting appointments for Brinks Home Security systems itself was not a scam, it was a marketing company that had Brinks as a contract. I was told all the leads came from people wanting the system and requesting info on the corporate website. Well that was a lie! 99% of the people I called never requested a security system and we called the same leads over and over and over and over again. Out of 600 calls a day we were lucky to get one sale and then it wasn’t guaranteed. There were a lot of false promises and was shorted pay when I decided this wasn’t for me. $7.25 an hour and driving a mini van and eating lunch out was too much.
So now I have two legitimate work at home jobs from 2 different companies that pay more. One I make reservations for families at state parks around the country and one is following up with people who want info on online schools. I also am working for ASP as a Human resources recruiter and that pays great and I get paid weekly! I am trying to hire people in my area to have meetings at a coffee shop or something just to meet other people and build a stronger team and make more money!
So that is what I have been up to. Also I think I will be starting up Anxiety Sucks Radio show again also! I will keep you posted on that one. J
Yesterday I joined Jenny Craig
I have seen the Jenny Craig commercials for years and always secretly wished I could join them but was worried that maybe I would be eating cardboard etc. Well yesterday I went and listened to the plan and decided to join. When I calculated the costs of my regular shopping and what it cost me to eat out 4-5 times a week I decided that i would be saving money and time and eating healhier. My goal is to be the best i have ever been by the time I turn 40 next December. By the time I am 40 I want to have my business(s) back running strong, I want to be completely off all meds for depression and anxiety and the good thing about Jenny Craig is that since I am an emotional eater I can learn how to manage stress and I have personal assistant that helps me in person once a week, which is important because no one really cares that I joined Jenny Craig, I even called my mom and was hoping I would hear “Thats awesome” etc. All I got was the “I am in the middle of something” 2 minutes into the call. So Kenny my 12 year old son told me that he would be my diet buddy and even said he would go for walks with me and go to the gym, he even set me up on dance dance revelotion. Since I wear a Jenny Craig pedometer DDR will increase my steps.
Yesterday after joining I felt a little agitated. I was mad that I spent the yearly membership fee and then the cost of meals. I was mad that no one was happy for me. I was mad that it was Friday night and I couldn’t order pizza. But I stuck with the menu 100% and I actually didn’t eat all the foods that was on my menu. I was not hungry or really craving anything bad for me. I ate the best that I have eaten in years yesterday! On my first day I had Beef Chow mein for lunch and a salad and that was the best ever! For dinner I had Chicken Carbonara plus a thai soup which was to die for! For desert I had a smores bar that was awesome also! This morning I had the Jenny Craig frosted oats cereal. I am not a big fan of cereal for breakfast but I was actually full and I haven’t eaten my fruit yet.
I figured I saved about $30 this week in groceries and that includes buying my son one week of meals and cereal. So today I have a positive outlook. I have all the tools I need in front of me and honestly I could care less if no one in the world supports me because I am not losing weight for anyone else but ME.
I have to say that I truly have been blessed lately! I have a new car and soon a new healthier body 
If you would have asked me a month ago if I would have a new car or be able to join Jenny Craig even during these rough economic times I would have laughed. I am able to work at home and am doing some marketing and making some great money! So the next time I feel stressed or down, I am going to use my daily affirmation as “Too Blessed To Be Stressed!”
Hello again
Hello to all my readers. Just wanted to keep you all up to date. I have some emails with people asking how I am doing and how I overcame anxiety lately. I honestly can’t say I overcame anxiety, I just know how to live with it better. I have been reading more about anxiety and depression for women in their 40’s. I am 39 and think I am in Perimenopause actually I was told I was starting it after the birth of my son Joshua who passed in 2003.
Hormones has a lot to do with the way you feel. Lately I have been depressed. Not sure why. I have a great job which I am lucky to have. I should have been layed off by now but haven’t but I am also trying to get a civil service job so I can have benefits and a retirement plan.
My hours at work are changing to a little bit early so I think that will help me with my depression. I usually get off at midnight, now I will get off at 9 so for me thats great. Maybe more sleep will help with my depression. Right now I am averaging 5-6 hours a night and then I usually try and sleep a couple hours in the afternoon before I go to work, but on days like today when meetings start at 10:30am and you have several that you have to attend before your real shift starts that makes it hard.
Anyways, just a quick post to say “Hello” I hope everyone is having a wonderful day!
Law of Attraction Meditation For Abundance and Spiritual Growth
I found this very relaxing. I hope you enjoy!
letting off some steam…feeling a bit OCD
Wow. It sure has been a long time when I blogged about anything lol. I have been so crazy busy at work. But lately I have not been feeling 100%. I stopped taking my multivitamins and my probiotic drinks and other healthy foods that I used to consume daily. But lately it seems I have been putting myself last and everyone else first.
My new job is doing great and the company that I work for now just landed another large contract and they have been hiring a lot from what I see on the bulletin boards. I really do love my job but I put in about 60 hours a week minimum and I do far more than what is asked of me. My normal shift its 3pm-midnight but I rarely get done at midnight and I am often working after my son gets off to school in the morning. So I get off work at about 1am and then I go straight to bed. I get up at 6am to get Kenny off to school. If I am really tired I will go back to bed but normally I go take a nap between 12 noon to about 2:30.
Today I broke down and bought some multi-vitamins, Theragran-M Premier. They were a really good price. Then I started to stress about the extra ingredients in it. For example why is there tin and silicone in them? Why would I want tin? I guess I think of like a TIN can. Of course I ran though this vitamin with a drug checker and there are no interactions. So I also filled my alprazolam at Sams Club. I didn’t know I could save over 50% and I just happened to have a prescription in my wallet I never got filled. Then I obsessed that the pills were a different shape and didn’t look or taste the same. So basically lately I am a bit OCD in my thoughts anyways. Lately I feel like I am in a haze when I am not working. If I have time to think I seem to be obsessive in my thoughts.
The clutter on my desk was driving me so insane that I just took a milk crate and tossed everything in it. Its only not even ¼ full so I am wondering why that clutter bothered me.
You would think that my work would stress me out. For example a supervisor in my department quit and one of our time consuming activities is to do Quality evaluations on each employee under us. There are to be 6 done on each agent a month and the coaching on each evaluation. Because this supervisor quit I now have 33 more people under me in addition to the 40 I have now. That is 438 evaluations that has to be done by months end.
Sorry for my scattered thoughts. I have about an hour before I go to work and I still need to plan dinner. I will try and write more often like I used to, but just wanted to blog to relieve some stress.
Happy Halloween - New job offer, feelings of depression V-Log
Rushing home from a panic attack part 2
V-Log during a panic attack part 1
I am starting Video Blogging…
I created my first video after a panic attack I had recently. I will post my videos on here also but i wanted to share some videos from people suffer from anxiety and panic attacks also. Let me know what you think.
Michelle
anxiety/panic disorder blog