Yesterday I was relaxing watching TV after work and saw a commercial for Oprah that was to be aired later that day. I saw that they had like some kind of OCD boot camp, so I decided to watch it.
I rarely watch Oprah, not because I don’t like her, its just that I am so used to working during that time I just never had the chance to watch her. There was one lady on there that was EXACTLY like me. She was afraid that her food was contaminated. That is a fear that I live every single day! I was watching her video of her examining her food and I said OMG that is me! Kenny was watching and he just looked at me before I said it and he asked if she was having a panic attack like I do sometimes.
I never really considered myself as having OCD and according to Dr. Oz on the show everyone has some OCD but for some individuals it turns into a fear that takes over their lives.
April has the most difficult time keeping her food and drink down. For years, she says she’s had trouble eating because she’s always afraid that her food is poisoned. When she sees the pizza boxes in the dining hall, she says she wants to run out of the room. “I thought I was going to die,” she says.
Finally, she confronts her fear head-on by swallowing some soda someone else poured. The first drink is difficult, but for April, the worst is yet to come. “It’s not over yet because it’s in me,” she says. “Now the fear is coming of what’s going to happen now.”
My biggest obsession is this. When I am driving I HAVE TO have a drink with me, usually coffee or iced tea that I only get at Starbucks because that is my “safe place”, on occasion I will get a meal at a drive thru like McDonalds but it has to be one that I am familiar with or I get paranoid about the food.
MANY times I have paid almost $5 for a Latte at Starbucks, stopped at a store and left the car unlocked, when I come back in the car I will not drink my coffee, I will throw it away because in my mind it is contaminated.
If I leave a open bottle of water or a drink on the counter in my own home and my son is home I will not drink it because I think he put something either by accident or on purpose.
If someone else cooks for me in my own house I get nervous because I think I may be poisoned or get sick. I remember after the birth of my second son Joshua who has since passed on, I would sit at the table and my ex husband would literally try and feed me. In my mind I would die if I ate food I did not cook I was also afraid to fall asleep because I was afraid I would not wake up. I had post partum depression very bad then. When I did eat I was physically ill.
Dr. Oz says mental anguish can also make someone like April feel physically ill. “The intestinal system has as many nerves as your spine does,” he says. “When you get sick emotionally, you get sick viscerally in your gut, as well. That’s why you get nervous and you vomit sometimes.”
